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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29074029">Without Permission</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalescapeplan/pseuds/originalescapeplan'>originalescapeplan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Force Bond (Star Wars), M/M, Meditation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:55:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29074029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalescapeplan/pseuds/originalescapeplan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin can always tell when Obi-Wan is meditating.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Without Permission</h2></a>
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    <p>Obi-Wan is sitting in his bunk, back straight, legs folded, beginning his daily meditation. </p><p>He senses the Force within himself, and senses it welling up around him like a deep and endless river. He focuses his mind on the subtle sensations within his own body: the current of energy flowing through his nervous system, the measured expansion and compression of his lungs, the beat of his own heart and the pumping of his blood through his veins.</p><p>He breathes in, breathes out, and reflects. </p><p>One of the goals of Obi-Wan’s meditation is to examine his thoughts without holding on too tightly, to allow them to slip in and out of his mind without clinging or dwelling upon them. He allows his ego to fade into the Force and he becomes nobody, existing only as a set of passing observations. He is no longer <i>in</i> the river; he <i>is</i> the river. </p><p>He smells the clean, if stale, filtered air of the ship and the subtler but sharper tang of sterilized metal. Far off, there are muffled whispers of activity and of life signatures in the Force—the presence of clone troopers—echoing in some distant corridor or hall, barely perceptible. He senses the motion of the ship through hyperspace, a curious rushing stillness.</p><p>And he senses Anakin. Anakin’s signature in the Force is like the brightest star in an already glittering sky, a spark of chaotic vibrance in an otherwise ordered array of gently shimmering energies.</p><p>Deep Force meditation requires a Jedi to lower all of their carefully-constructed internal shields. And this evening, as Anakin is walking down a corridor of their ship, on his way to tinker with his starfighter, he is hit with a soft pulse in the Force. His bond with his master is vibrating like the plucked string of a delicate instrument, playing a sad song.</p><p>Anakin can always tell when Obi-Wan is meditating.</p><p>***</p><p>Obi-Wan has known for a long time that he will never be a perfect Jedi. He has a fatal flaw that he will never be able to fully eradicate, and it makes him feel foolish, but he knows that it will always be inside of him: he can’t help but love the people that he’s close to. He loves them more than he should.</p><p>He was faced with this vividly plain and painful truth as he held his dying master. In that awful moment, he hadn’t felt a peaceful detachment—he’d been consumed by anguish. He wanted to hold on. He would’ve given anything to bring Qui-Gon back, would’ve struck any bargain. </p><p>He understands Anakin’s fear of loss because he’s felt it himself. </p><p>He was thankful for the gift that Qui-Gon had given him with his dying breaths. Obi-Wan hadn’t wanted it at the time, but was glad for it now: by asking him to train Anakin, Qui-Gon had saved Obi-Wan. He had renewed the younger man’s purpose and drive; he was no longer adrift. It was the perfect task to distract him from the loss and the pain—new growth from a burned forest. </p><p>Obi-Wan holds this love and this fear within himself and wonders what it will do to him. These are the things that he can’t let go of, no matter how much pain they bring him. His love for Anakin has worked its way into his life like a force of nature, taken root and flowered, hidden in the guise of friendly camaraderie—but Obi-Wan knows that it’s something more.</p><p>He wants to tell himself that it has happened without him noticing, but the truth is that he has known all along. </p><p>Obi-Wan has tried not to allow himself to love anyone for a long time. But, as usual, Anakin has not asked his permission. </p><p>Anakin hadn’t planned on meditating today, but now he sits, closes his eyes, and listens to the tender song that is being played between them.</p>
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